My New Title is Mommy: The pay sucks but the benefits are great.

For Baby Girl's half-birthday (six months), I'm giving her the gift of time. My time. I'm leaving my full-time position to become a full-time mom. 

When I went back to work in December, I knew I wanted to work from home. It's a 90-minute commute to our office in Sarasota, and neither I nor Baby Girl liked that drive. Leaving her at home was out of the question for me. She had never learned to take a bottle, and I wasn't going to shock her into taking one by leaving her hungry for hours with a stranger. 

Working from home, part-time, with flexible hours, worked. My employer was awesome during my transition into maternity leave and equally awesome transitioning me back. 

I couldn't work and entertain Baby Girl, so I hired a nanny. Luckily, by that point she had started to cut teeth and was ready for her first foods. We supplemented my nursing schedule with the nanny feeding her cereal, which allowed me to leave the house for a few hours. 

Nannies are amazing, and mine is more amazing than most. But they are also expensive, and it soon became clear I was basically working to pay her salary. And there was a quietly building pressure to return to my full-time duties. Which would require more hours for the nanny, and more hours I'd be away from Baby Girl. 

I didn't see the point of working just to afford the childcare needed to allow me to work. I couldn't stand the thought of daycare. My husband had already sacrificed being with his daughter during her first year to work in North Dakota. Was I going to miss out, too? 

Because I would miss things. I didn't know Baby Girl could sit up until I walked by the nursery one day and saw her happily upright, chewing on a toy. If I went back to work full-time, I would miss more of these milestones. Her first front-to-back rollover, when she popped up on hands and knees and took her first tentative crawl, the first time she pulled herself up and stood on two fat, wobbly legs.

I recognize a lot of mothers have to do this. A lot of my friends have gone back to work. Some had to, some wanted to. For me, it's not a sacrifice I am willing to make. We don't plan on having more children. She is the only baby I will raise. I want to be there for every moment. 

Starting in March, I will be a full-time mommy and a part-time freelancer. It's risky, leaving the financial stability of full-time employment, but luck favors the bold. (I hope.) 

If you're a friend and reading this, know that we'll be looking for fun, sensory experiences ... and company. (Even a Solo Mom needs a friend to talk to once in a while.) 

I'm excited to discover the world with my daughter as she turns seven months, then eight, and so on. The next six months of our lives will be filled with adventures--including a big plane ride up to North Dakota to visit Daddy--and I'm going to cherish every single moment.