I Don't Love Zombies
I ended my zombie Facebook game prematurely. I haven’t seen the season premiere of AMC's The Walking Dead , and I’m not planning to. You think I love zombies. You think I want zombie plush dolls, zombie T-shirts, the game of Life for zombies. But, I don’t. And I don’t want to go to the zombie pub-crawl/laser-tag/rock concert, either. You’ve got it all wrong. I don’t love zombies. In fact, they scare the ever-living hell out of me. Most scary things scare the ever-living hell out of me. If you ever see me in a haunted house, please help me get to the exit—I assure you I’m too frightened to get there myself. I watch horror movies the same way I watched the scary parts of movies when I was a child. Through my fingers. But, I understand why you think I love zombies. I talk about them all the time, right? I’m always recommending that you stock up on bottled water and dry goods, destroy your staircase, and start up a cardio routine. I’ve read World War Z more times than
