The Autumn Star

This is an old post (2008) from my now-defunct blog, A Life Edited. I’m reposting it here so my boss can read it. Yeah, I know. My job’s awesome. Here’s the deal: I am too old to read bad books. There are a lot of killer books out there, waiting for me to find them. I can’t waste my time with bad ones. Twilight is a bad book. At first, I thought I was being impatient. Then I thought I was being too critical, that I couldn't take off my Editor’s Hat. But 300 pages in I had decided. Twilight isn’t just poorly written--rife with repetitive, unnecessary adjectives and bland adverbs that add nothing to the action, with a bizarre mix of teenage sentimentality and Ivy League vocabulary--because if it was just poorly written, I would probably wade through it, and then write a review that talked about how editing a story to its best possible form, is a lost art and blah blah blah. No, Twilight is boring. 300 pages in, this is what I have learned: Bella Swan moves

or, How Stacked Burgers Stacked Up When my co-worker said it was “Burger time,” I mistakenly thought we were going to a place called Burger Time. Or at least that, wherever it was we were going, burgers were the primary element of concern. I had tasty daydreams of Square One Burgers, or Hamburger Mary’s, or even 5 Guys. How wrong I was. As soon as we drove past Stacked Burgers, and I saw the oh-so-clever signage, I knew I was in trouble. Don’t get me wrong. I love Winghouse. I’ll eat at Hooters (though the wings are far superior at Winghouse). It’s not these types of establishments that I oppose, it’s the third-rate execution of establishments like this that I oppose. If you’re going to be a cheeky, girlie-centered restaurant, I say go for it! But please, don’t subject me to a half-assed job of it. 1st sign of trouble: Your hostess is Legion. Seriously, this girl smiled and something straight out of Devil’s Advocate went on with her face. I couldn’t help it; I cringed. Visibly.

Updated 10/18/16 Who is your favorite Disney princess? Which Disney princess are you? Quizzes, T-shirts, mugs, snow globes, bed sheets, costumes, pencil sets, icons for Facebook, it’s ridiculous! The current official line-up is Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel, Merida. There are other Disney ladies who, while not princesses, certainly get the royal marketing treatment: Alice and Tinkerbell among them. And of course, Anna and Elsa are so popular they're in a category all their own. But there’s a certain young lady who has, sadly, been overlooked. Wendy Darling. Why should a little girl in a nightdress be among the nobility of Disney? I think she's one of the best female role models Disney has ever depicted. Here's why: 1. Bravery. From the very beginning of the tale, Wendy shows she’s got true grit. She’s no shrinking English violet. She catches Peter Pan’s shadow, which he can’t do himself, and then